Author’s note: Happy Halloween! I came up with this idea, but honestly it is 100% an excuse to post pictures of Killer Katrin as Harley Quinn.
“Terminal 3, gate C18,” Brandon said, staring up at the arrivals board. “Says it landed ten minutes ago. He should be out any second.”
Jason shifted on his feet. “What do you think he’ll do this year? Last time Jacob promised a ‘legendary costume,’ he showed up in a Pikachu onesie with the ass cut out.”
Brandon laughed. “Yeah, but this time he said unforgettable. Like, made us swear to film our reaction. Dude’s been building this up for weeks.”
They scanned the crowd coming out of the gate.
“Whoa,” Jason muttered, nudging Brandon with his elbow.
A blonde stunner strutted past them, hauling a silver carry-on, wearing maroon shorts and a matching sports bra. She had a long ponytail and tan legs for days. She threw up a peace sign at someone off to the side.
Brandon let out a low whistle. “Damn. She’s ‘ruin your relationship’ hot.”
Jason smirked. “Yeah, well, whoever she’s meeting is lucky as hell.”
They kept scanning the crowd for their friend. Eventually the crowd thinned and they still didn’t see their friend Jacob.
Brandon checked his phone. “He should be here.”
ding
A new message popped up from Jacob.
jacob: “You just looked right past me”
Jason furrowed his brow. “What the hell does that mean?”
They both turned back toward the blonde just in time to see her lowering her sunglasses.
She smiled, casually flipping her ponytail back.
“Hey boys.”
Jason and Brandon looked confused.
“No… way.”
“Miss me?” she teased.
“Wait. Jacob?” Jason asked.
She grinned wider. “Jacky, for now. At least until this stuff wears off…”
She pulled a tiny empty glass vial from her luggage and dangled it between her fingers.
“Got it from some guy I found out about. Said it was experimental. Said to drink it and bam…” she gestured to herself, spinning slightly. “The ultimate costume.”
Jason looked her up and down, still struggling to compute what he was seeing. “So… like, you’re really Jacob? Not some chick he paid to put us on?”
“Pretty much.” She winked. “Feels real too. Like, really real. She squeezed her tits together. Everything in this body feels different.”
Jason narrowed his eyes. “Okay, hold on. If you’re really Jacob, what did you spill all over Brandon’s bed sophomore year?”
She didn’t even pause. “Half a bottle of Baja Blast and the tears of a man who lost his Mario Kart crown.”
“Okay, that’s true but a bit harsh,” Brandon said.
“The truth hurts, dude. Want another one?” Jacquelyn crossed her arms then tilted her head. “Freshman year, Halloween, I dared you to take two shots of Fireball and hit on that hot TA dressed as Catwoman. You threw up on her shoes.”
“Shit. It’s really you,” Jason confirmed.
Brandon still looked confused. “So, when does it wear off?”
Jacky’s smirk flickered for half a second. “Supposed to be temporary. The guy said 24 to 48 hours. Magic’s weird like that. I just drank it, so I’ve got until tomorrow at least.”
Jason nudged her playfully. “So you’re going to be a chick for the costume party?”
“That’s the plan. Now let’s go. I can feel all the guys checking me out. It’s kind of creepy.”
The hotel room was chaos the moment they dumped their bags. Costumes were spread across the beds, half-zipped duffels spilled out into the floor. Brandon was trying to reattach a sword sheath to his fake samurai belt while Jason struggled to find the left boot of his cowboy getup.
Meanwhile, Jacky lounged effortlessly on the bed, one leg bent, the other dangling over the edge. She wore a loose-fitting t-shirt that was just long enough to cover the waistband of a pair of ridiculously short shorts. Not that she was trying to flash anything, but every time she moved, the hem of that shirt rode up a little more than it should have.
“I still haven’t shown you my costume,” she said, voice smooth and casual, as she stretched her arms overhead and yawned. The move pulled the shirt tight against her chest.
Jason looked up. Then immediately looked back down. “Wait. I thought being a chick was your costume. You brought something else?”
Jacky shrugged, tugging on the bottom of her t-shirt and watching their eyes follow her hand. “Yeah. I figured… why not really commit?”
“Dude,” Jason said. “You’ve got to be careful with that body. It’s all kinds of distracting. You know you look like a smoking hot chick…right?”
“I mean…” She sat up straighter, brushing her hair behind her ear with a delicate flick. “Would you be mad if I said I’m kind of having fun?”
Jason looked at Brandon. “Okay, this is getting weird.”
Brandon tilted his head. “Where did you even get those clothes?”
Jacky giggled. “My sister’s drawer. She’s out of town and, well… she’s got good taste.” She gestured down at her snug shorts, then tugged the collar of the t-shirt. “Didn’t exactly think about sizing, though. Do you think this is too tight?”
She said it so naturally, so breezily, that neither of them could quite tell if she was joking. Her voice had a playful lilt now, flirty without trying. Or maybe trying a little.
Jason cleared his throat. “So, what is the costume?”
Jacky stood slowly and sauntered over to her bag. Her hips swayed and as she bent down to unzip the duffel, it took a herculean effort for both boys to stare anywhere else.
Then she turned around, one hand on her hip.
“Harley Quinn,” she announced. “Obviously.”
“You’re kidding,” Brandon laughed.
Jason raised a brow. “That’s your plan?”
She grinned. “Pigtails, crop top, short-shorts, fishnets. Maybe some glitter. You really think anyone’s going to beat this tonight?” She twirled, showing off her legs without even thinking about it.
“You’re insane,” Brandon muttered.
Jacky pouted. “Aw, come on, don’t be jealous.” She strutted back over to the bed, sat down with a bounce, and leaned toward him. “I told you this costume would be epic.”
Jason gave her a look. “You’re really enjoying this, huh?”
Then she laughed softly. “I mean… wouldn’t you?”
“Dude,” Jason said, lowering his voice. “You’ve gotta admit it. Jacob’s been weird all day.”
Jason leaned against the wall in his cowboy hat and toy revolvers, while Brandon adjusted his plastic samurai armor.
Brandon didn’t argue. “I mean… yeah.”
“Like, not just ‘hey, I’m pretending to be a hot girl for a joke’ weird. It’s like he’s… enjoying it,” Jason added.
Brandon sighed. “Bro. She’s been teasing us all afternoon.”
Jason rubbed his face. “And when we were picking up snacks, she actually swayed past the cashier and winked. Did you see the guy? He practically melted.”
“Think she’s okay?”
Jason shrugged. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
Jacky leaned toward the mirror, gently brushing pink and blue streaks into her high ponytails. A small smirk played on her lips.
“Puddin’, you’re late…” she whispered to herself, then giggled. “No, no. Higher pitch.”
She tilted her head and tried again.
“Puddin’, you’re late!” she chirped, adding a raspy little whine. “Much better.”
She applied red lipstick shaped into a perfect pout and dark eyeliner winged just enough to look wild. The shirt was cropped and knotted beneath her bust, tight enough to push up cleavage that still made her pause every time she caught herself in the mirror.
“I shouldn’t be this good at this…” she muttered, then stuck out her tongue and blew a kiss at her reflection.
She wore fishnets and hotpants just like Harley. The belt sat low on her hips, right where she knew it would draw attention. She leaned in close again, tracing a finger along her collarbone.
She turned to check herself from the side. As she did, the pigtails bounced. The heels clicked when she shifted her weight.
“Daddy’s lil’ monster,” she whispered, reading the words on her top. Her smile was slow and hungry.
Back downstairs, the elevator dinged.
Jason turned. “You think she’s actually gonna wear…”
The doors opened.
Brandon’s jaw dropped. “Oh. My. God.”
Jacky stepped out slowly, heels clicking against the marble floor, her bat resting across her shoulders, her hips swaying with total confidence. She didn’t say a word at first.
Then she bit her lip, leaned forward just a little too close, and purred. “Ready, boys?”
The house party was chaos.
Wall-to-wall costumed bodies drinking, dancing, grinding, and shouting over music that made the floorboards shake. Jacky had never been to this house before, but that didn’t stop her from feeling right at home.
She’d lost track of Jason and Brandon, they were somewhere behind her. They kept trying to check in with her, but honestly? She was finding it harder and harder to care. She was feeling sexy and alive. Almost giddy.
She giggled to herself and headed further into the fray.
Across the room, Jason and Brandon were looking around for Jacob.
“Dude,” Jason said frustrated. “Jacob is getting way too into this costume. He spent the entire ride over practicing his ‘Harley voice’.
Brandon nodded. “I know. She’s being so annoying.”
“He,” Jason corrected.
Jacky walked over to a guy wearing a cheap Batman mask. She leaned in close and blew into his ear.
“Anyone home?” she lilted.
The guy looked annoyed until he turned and saw her. Then he looked interested.
“Umm,” he said, clearly a bit drunk. “What’s your name?”
“Come on, Batsy,” Jacky replied. “Don’t play coy with me. Aren’t you the world’s greatest detective or somethin?”
Just then, Jason and Brandon arrived and pulled Jacky away.
“Dude,” Jason intoned. “You’ve got to chill.”
Her smile flickered and it was like her eyes regained focus.
“Yeah,” Jacky responded in her normal voice. “Don’t worry. I’m just having some fun.”
Jason didn’t look convinced. “Maybe just… dial it back a little?”
Jacky gave a sheepish smile and nodded. “Yeah. I got a little carried away. It’s the heels, I swear. They make me feel… I dunno. Taller?”
Brandon squinted. “You’re literally five-three right now.”
She stuck her tongue out at him and then turned to snag a plastic cup off the counter. Cheap jungle juice. Probably mostly sugar and vodka, but she didn’t care.
Just keep it together, she told herself. You’re still Jacob. You’re just dressed like a psycho sexpot. No big deal.
But even as she thought it, her gaze drifted to a guy leaning against the kitchen island, watching her. He had scruffy facial hair, a devil horn headband, and was clearly eyeing her up and down.
Jacky’s stomach did a little flip.
She looked away quickly, pretending to check her phone. Okay, that was new. You’re not actually into guys. You’re just… getting into character. Immersion. Method acting, baby.
But when she looked back up, Devil Horns was walking over.
“Hey,” he said, offering a boyish smile. “You’ve got that whole Suicide Squad thing down. The voice, the strut, the eyes…”
Jacky’s lips curled up. “Ya really think so?” she cooed and then blinked. Damn it. That wasn’t the voice I meant to use.
“Yeah,” he said, stepping a little closer. “It’s kind of hot.”
She took a small step back, then caught herself. No. Stop. You can’t be flirting with a man. You’re not into men.
But… it felt different than before. As a woman, there was a heat in her chest and a buzz in her skin. The way he looked at her was turning her on.
Jacky giggled and tilted her head, letting her ponytails sway.
“Careful,” she said, her voice playful, teetering just on the edge of something darker. “I might start thinkin’ you’re sweet.”
The guy grinned. “You want to come outside?” he asked, nodding toward the patio. “It’s loud in here. I’d love to talk without yelling.”
Jacky leaned forward just a little. She licked her lips, then ran a sharp nail along his neck. It drew a hint of blood.
“Ooh, a gentleman and a charmer?” she purred. “Careful, baby. Girls like me get wild.”
The guy looked a little surprised and definitely intimidated, but he laughed anyway.
Jacky’s smirk was starting to slip into a grin.
What am I doing?
She blinked, backing up a step and clearing her throat.
“Thanks,” she said, more softly. “It’s been… an odd night.”
Just like that, the wildness in her voice dulled. The manic energy ebbed.
He nodded. “So, outside?”
Jacky hesitated.
“I should check on my friends,” she said, quieter now. “Maybe later.”
The guy nodded and wandered off, but not before giving her a once-over.
Jacky exhaled.
Why did that feel… nice?
Jacky pushed through the crowd looking for her friends. One heel caught slightly on a sticky patch of floor. She almost stumbled, caught herself, and cursed under her breath.
Hold it together.
The fishnets, the pigtails, the little crop top hugging her tighter than she remembered. It all felt like it was squeezing her brain. Every time she tried to think like Jacob, she could feel her rising again.
She spotted Jason and Brandon near the back wall by a half-deflated balloon arch, talking to a guy dressed as a giant slice of pizza. Without hesitation, she rushed over, grabbed Jason’s arm, and pulled him aside.
“Whoa,” he said. “Where’ve you been?”
Jacky didn’t answer at first. Her eyes darted around, watching the party. It was like she was seeing it through a haze. She leaned in close and whispered, “We have to go.”
Jason blinked. “What?”
She took a shaky breath. “I said… we have to go. Like, right now.”
Brandon joined them, raising an eyebrow. “What’s going on? You look upset.”
Jacky shook her head, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, smearing a bit of eyeliner in the process. “No! I’m just…” She stopped herself. Her voice was cracking, slipping back and forth between her and him.
“I need you to get me out of here before I do somethin’ I’ll regret, puddin’.”
The words came out in Harley’s voice.
She covered her mouth immediately, eyes wide in horror. “God. No. No, no, no. That wasn’t what I meant. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”
Jason stepped closer. “Jack…Jacob. What’s happening?”
“I don’t know,” she said, almost pleading. “I took that stupid elixir and I think it’s messing with my brain. I feel like I’m acting, but then I’m not. I’m saying things I didn’t mean. Doing things…”
She looked up at them, eyes shimmering with panic.
Brandon glanced nervously toward the door. “Okay. Okay. We’re leaving. Now.”
Jason nodded. “Let’s go. We’ll figure it out. Come on.”
Jacky was pushing toward the door, barely holding it together. Jason had her by the wrist, Brandon right behind, both of them trying to move fast but casual, like they weren’t dragging a girl on the verge of a full identity collapse.
They were almost there. They were so close, and then a voice rang out.
“Hey, Harley! You leavin’ already?”
Instinctively, she turned slowly towards the voice and there he was.
A guy in a full Joker getup. Purple coat, green vest, and that manic grin stretched way too wide. It was a cheap costume, sure but it caused something inside of her to snap.
Joker. Her Joker.
She didn’t even think. She pulled her hand free from Jason’s grip and turned on a dime.
“Well, well, well…” she purred, hips swaying as she approached. “Look who crawled outta Arkham , my Mistah J!”
“Damn,” Joker Guy said, clearly thrilled with her reaction. “You’re the best Harley I’ve seen all night.”
She let out a high-pitched giggle that turned a few heads. “Aww, stop. You’re gonna make me blush.” She walked her fingers up his chest and grabbed a handful of his fake lapel.
“Ya keep sweet-talkin’ like that, I might just carve our initials into somebody’s spleen.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What?”
Her smile stretched into something wild and unhinged as Jason and Brandon looked on in horror.
“Jacob!” Jason hissed, stepping forward.
Jacky didn’t even turn.
“Who’s Jacob?” she asked sweetly, still locked in with Joker. “You boys see a Jacob around here?”
Brandon stepped forward too. “Seriously, snap out of it.”
“Snap outta what, toots? I’m feelin’ fine!” Her voice rose an octave, then dropped into a dangerous purr. “I’m just talkin’ to my puddin’. Isn’t that right, baby?”
Joker Guy leaned into the bit. “Damn right. C’mere, mama.”
He reached for her waist and she let him pull her into him. Her back arched into his touch. Her hand slipped behind his neck. Her lips were inches from his ear when she whispered.
“Tell me what you want, Mr. J.”
He laughed. “Are you serious?”
Jacky spun on her heel, grabbed her bat from the nearby wall where she’d propped it earlier, and raised it over her shoulder with a grin that didn’t belong to Jacob at all.
“Boys,” she said, turning to face Jason and Brandon now. “I think I’m gonna stay a little while longer.”
Jason looked stunned. “Jacky….”
Her eyes narrowed. “Game’s just gettin’ fun, boys. Don’t be party poopers.”
The bat swung lazily across Jacky’s shoulders, her fingers drumming along the grip with manic anticipation. Her gaze flicked between Jason, Brandon… and him.
“Jacky, please,” Brandon said. “This isn’t you and that’s not the Joker. That’s just a guy in a cheap costume.”
“Boys,” she cooed, that sugar-slick voice dripping with danger. “You’re bein’ real rude to my puddin’.”
Her head twitched slightly into a little tilt, like a broken doll winding up.
Joker Guy slid an arm around her waist. “Damn, you really are into this, huh?”
Jacky spun into him, chest pressed flush to his, giggling as she looped her arms behind his neck. Her lips hovered just over his mouth.
“Oh, I’m into you, sugar,” she purred.
Then, snap. She turned on a dime, her grin vanishing as some guy bumped into her shoulder trying to pass by.
“Watch it,” the guy grumbled, already walking away.
Jacky stepped forward and cracked the bat across the folding table nearby, sending cups, beer cans, and a bowl of pretzels flying.
“What’d you say to me, punk?” she yelled, eyes wide, that smile twisting into something feral.
The guy turned around, hands up. “Chill, I didn’t mean…”
“You think you can touch me and just walk away?! I should crack your skull open like a piñata and see if anything sweet comes out!”
A crowd started gathering. Phones came out.
Jason pushed through them. “Jacky, stop!”
But she wasn’t listening. She was pacing in circles now, spinning the bat.
“None of you get it! Nobody tells me what to do. Nobody except my Mr. J.”
Someone tried to grab her shoulder and she shrieked, twisting out of his grip and elbowing him hard in the gut.
The room exploded into chaos.
People started shouting and someone knocked over a speaker. Punches started flying. It was like she’d lit a fuse and the party just exploded.
Jacky stood in the middle of it and just laughed. It was a high and wild sound.
Joker grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the back hallway.
She followed without hesitation.
They burst out the back door into the alley behind the house, the sounds of shouting and music warping behind them.
Jacky stopped for a second, panting. Her hair was a mess and her lipstick was smudged, but she still had the bat in her hand.
Joker leaned in. “You are insane.”
She grinned wide and grabbed his face with both hands, pulling him into a deep, messy kiss that left him stunned.
Then she whispered, “You bring out the worst in me, Mistah J.”
Then she started laughing.
Somewhere, way down deep, Jacob might have been screaming. But Harley couldn’t hear him over the laughter
He laughed along trying to keep up with this crazy, hot woman showing him interest.
“What now?”
Behind them, the muffled chaos of the party spilled out into the night. There was shouting and someone crying for security. Jason and Brandon would be in that mess, scrambling, searching, maybe even calling her name.
But Harley twirled the bat behind her back and skipped toward the shadows at the end of the alley.
“C’mon, puddin’,” she sang, tugging Joker harder, her eyes gleaming with manic joy. “Let’s give this town somethin’ to scream about.”
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